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lonerism

by lonerism

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1.
you can stay in the same place and still find ways to leave people 03:23
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remember that one time you thought you were in love when it comes down, when push comes to shove you'd just convinced yourself you were in love think of another time you thought it was true it didn’t go away then, it still feels new when you see her face or feel her touch its easy to feel like you are in love but maybe in love's not the way that you feel perhaps you just think it cause the crush is too real but she's just your best friend and you'll never know why you have to feel so hurt on the inside remember that time we hung all summer long waterparks, Levi, gazing at stars you sang every word, like it was you I wanted to feel it too You’re still the only one that I've ever seen I'm glad that I told you but back then I felt weak How many times was it, two or sixteen? Hoping for it back, like this was a dream “I love someone but no one can know” It killed me that day, God I felt so low You didn’t know then and now you think that you do I hope someday I will, but then I hope I never do Cause love always ends no matter the kind People leave in different ways- abandon or die Even if you're in the same place, you’ll never stop trying
2.
radio booth blues 02:07
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Sunny days and warm breezes Pretty flowers and rainy evenings Blooming caterpillars and warty toads Fall sweaters and leaf filled roads Pesky mosquitoes and red red wasps Summer days, car always washed Windows down with music blaring 3 packs a day and never caring smoke and drink and always swearing- best way I know to help with faring. Guitar, drums, bass, and voice Everyday you make the choice “live life to the fullest” but I cant although I wish, my lungs aren’t meant to breathe the songs I wish they did they’ll live forever inside my head even in summer when weather’s fair when I lay in fields and steadily stare songs always come but never escape one day they’ll get out but itll be too late nothing is good enough, or so it seems kills me to know ill never have my dreams to write music for me, just for myself I try my best but feel I need help If its really for me, I’m not good enough for myself.
3.
what makes your hand shake in the mornings 02:03
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What makes your hand shake in the mornings? Those lips like I’ve never seen Always pursing at some thing I can’t seem to see You’re hard to read Eyes always glowing differently, piercing me Try to see right through you but you’re out of reach It’s not something I mind, sometimes it feels good to me Privacy is crucial at least that’s what Jen told me And I agree Watch as your cig burns away, so contemplatively You worry me Even when there is no need, I’ll find something Just being me What makes your hand shake in the mornings? What gets your skin all bright and glowing? It feels like history Document it in moments while we sip our tea Quietly
4.
some nights i hate everything 02:25
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some days i wake up with a pain gnawing at my veins begging to be spilled out i could let it all stream with just a small split i dont know what keeps me from it at this point how do i keep going when i feel so weak guess it doesnt matter it just happens somehow one day you look up its been five years now things will keep going as long as you stay even if while youre here you wish everything away im not sure if theres any point but to live to exist and breathe and make some family i dont have much but i choose my own only a few but they feel like home new places come in and some go no matter who's around ill always know that i have me although it doesnt feel like its always enough i have my legs and my feet i dont know if theres a reason or if its death slowly easing either way im stuck here i guess its all i know ill take that its best
5.
the night we drove to jackson 03:38
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the night we drove to jackson was a night i coulda disappeared the night we drove to jackson i shoulda drank 16 more beers all i could do was sit and think and ponder how bad i felt i looked up and tried not to blink i knew my eyes might tell it never works out like i think i try to make it work i have a smoke and a drink it just makes me feel worse the night we drove to jackson i felt outside of my body the night we drove to jackson i should have felt holy what an honor to be there on time that wasn't mine it felt good but almost not fair like i was somehow wasting life there were old people around i should have felt comfortable i could only stare at the ground and try not to look disturbed the night we drove to jackson i was the only one who didnt swim i watched everyone laughing but didnt want to get in i shouldn't be feeling this way it just seemed like it wasnt right i had known it the whole day i tried hard but i couldnt fight she told me i was being mean i wasnt, i just felt bad i didnt feel like being seen she didnt get it, i guess no one can the night we drove to jackson Heaven dancing to The Cure i was never part of the action i dont know, i wasnt sure we separated into groups i didn't feel like being alone i wanted to tell the truth everyone was too far gone i didnt think of calling you i dont remember why maybe it would have helped the blue it was too late to try
6.
september 03:20
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when I sit down to write a song its not something that comes naturally I have to force it out of my system I don’t just hear it leisurely But when im high I hear music When im sober its just from other bands When im really in it I hear everything Percussion, strings, the brass Its something that hurts to think about That I don tjust have it in me I guess you have to work for everything That realization is just new to me I don’t really know how to write a song Its all just bullshit really My songs don’t really have structure No chorus verse melody I guess they do in some way But its more just like someone speaking No real solid set up I write them in minutes, quickly I don’t even know how to play guitar Don’t even know anything really I just write something out and hope for the best Its not getting me anywhere seriously I guess the songs are just for me At least that’s what I tell myself If that’s so then why do I post them all for someone else When I sit down to write a song I feel cool calm and collected But after I feel its done and written It somehow always feels neglected It takes years to write an album With how many songs I have how long does it take me? An hour or a week, It’s a testament to my shitty ability
7.
you got me wrapped round your little finger 02:13
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You got me wrapped round your little finger Feels so good I have to stay and linger Yeah you got me wrapped round your little finger I know we can beat this weather Until then I’ll let you wear my sweater Yeah you got me wrapped round your little finger Feels so right whenever we’re together In fact I’m sure I’ve never felt better Yeah you got me wrapped round your little finger babe ‘fore you don’t think I’ve ever known pleasure Yeah you got me wrapped round your little finger
8.
mail doesn't run on sundays 02:16
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Mail doesn’t run on sundays In love all over the house Thought it could only end one way Ended is how it turns out Thought i knew myself Better than this That you loved me more Than I knew Thought we would go far Into the future Always told myself What wasnt true Mail doesn’t run on sundays I’m all alone in my house Watch the sun come up most days Missing you without a doubt Don’t know why It took So long to hit me Don’t like this Feeling of being blue Thought I would feel good After the fact But I feel bad With or without you Mail doesn’t run on sundays Mail doesn’t run on sundays Mail doesn’t run on sundays
9.
change 03:07
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Sat at our spot or maybe it’s mine Come on now, think bout the times We sat right here, wasting away The very last sun of the day I’m told you see someone and I don’t like it I’m told to forget but I can’t fight it I’m told you see someone but I don’t believe it I’m told you don’t miss me but I don’t feel it Truth of it all is that it doesn’t matter If we’d never been, would we both be gladder? I try to move on and all I get is sadder Unable to eat and all I get is fatter I’m sat at our spot in Cherokee A mile from where you said you loved me Sometimes it gets too much, can’t be in this town Not here with you everywhere around It’s not just you physically it’s the memories that flash constantly It’s to the point where it doesn’t feel real When will it begin to heal Tired of this hurt that I carry around Tired of reasons to put myself down Tired of hurting the people to which I’m close When it comes to anything I’m the biggest joke You loved me then, it’s not the same I don’t like how things change I don’t like how things change I don’t like how things chang

about

a few tracks i recorded over a couple years, in the order of which they were recorded. when the first song was made, i was only a couple months on T, and when the last song was made, i was over a year on T, so you can listen to the change throughout the album. they're all pretty bad bc i don't actually know how to play guitar, i just write out some lyrics and then mess around with random chords until it matches how i want it to sound. but it feels really good and relieving to play and record these songs. i've let go and processed through a lot of feelings by writing these songs and i'm really thankful for that.

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released July 11, 2019

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lonerism Kentucky

lonerism/leafeye

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